Broken heart

“I got my heart broken the last time, I’ve learned my lesson and it won’t happen again.”. I have heard this or variations of that statement too many times but not enough to understand it. As I see it, the statement should be this: “I got my heart battered and bruised, it hurt like hell but I learned my heart is unbreakable. I am free to love the shit out of the next soul I deem worthy.” I see the survival of a broken heart as a gift, a freedom. This person can enter any relationship, love without fear because they know they will survive its possible (likely) death. Otherwise, entering a newborn relationship with the plan to be guarded and only partially giving of one’s self leads to definite failure but without the joy of loving and being loved in between. Then I hear “See! I knew I shouldn’t have given my heart! I knew it!”. I just listen. I think “You never did give it and if you continue, you will forget how. Look at the love letters of a teenager, that is a giving of the heart. You are one relationship at a time losing the ability to give that and consequently to receive.”. It’s my thought, my opinion and unless I am asked, I don’t offer it. I suggest taking the gift of an injured heart as proof of resilience. Approach the next eligible lover with the following: “I will love you without fear until you no longer are deserving of my love. I expect you to give me the same.”. What does anyone have to lose?

From Tumblr, by Shannon

Commenti

Posta un commento

Post popolari in questo blog

L’opera al nero - Il priore di Bruges

“Amico mio, non ne posso più… Sebastiano, tra poco saranno trascorsi mille e seicento anni dall'incarnazione di Cristo, e noi ci addormentiamo sulla Croce come su di un cuscino… Sembra quasi che, avendo avuto luogo la redenzione una volta per tutte non resti altro da fare che adattarsi al mondo così com'è, o, al massimo, assicurarsi la propria salvezza per sé. Noi esaltiamo, è vero, la fede; la portiamo a spasso in pompa magna per le strade; le sacrifichiamo, se occorre, mille vite, compreso la nostra. Noi teniamo in gran conto anche molto la speranza; solo che l'abbiamo troppo spesso venduta a prezzo d'oro ai devoti. Ma chi si cura della carità, se non qualche santo, ancorché io tremi pensando ai limiti angusti entro i quali essi l’esercitano… Perfino alla mia età e sotto questo abito, la mia compassione troppo tenera mi è apparsa spesso una tara della mia natura contro cui conveniva lottare… E mi dico che se uno di noi corresse al martirio, non per la fede, che ha già...
Continua a leggere

Stress and relationships

"So at the end of the day, science matters  most to us when it can make our lives better. So, let's apply stress to something many of us care about. Our relationships.   As I alluded to earlier, one area of our lives that is often greatly injured by stress response is the world of social relationships. When you find yourself in the trenches, getting stressed with your close friend, a family member or a partner, you're at greater risk of doing something that you might later regret. The times in my life when I've said the most hurtful things to people that I love, are times when I was in, was in like a different state of mind. John Gottman of the Gottman institute, call this phenomenon, physiologic flooding. Physiologic flooding is the stress response. The flooding of certain systems that, interestingly, when it comes to relationships, seems to be a bad thing. It turns out that some of our higher-order brain functions, tend not to work as well when we are stressed out. S...
Continua a leggere